Author: jackandjillcpl

Infibu-whaaaat?

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If I were to ask you to name a historic method employed to discourage sex, you might mention the chastity belt. Relatively well-known, the chastity belt was an uncomfortable device worn in centuries past by women (and possibly less-frequently, men) in order to prevent sexual activity. Typically made of metal, a chastity belt was worn around the waist and locked into place, making removal impossible without a key. Seen below is a chastity belt displayed in Venice, Italy. Notice the jagged metal teeth.

I am tempted to chalk up the once-widespread use of the chastity belt to the unfortunate status of women as second-class citizens at the time. After all, if female genital mutilation is sadly alive and well in some areas of the world in 2011, could more respectful treatment of women have been expected in that less-progressive era? I would guess not. Men went off to do battle, and kept their property – sorry, their wives – literally locked up so that no one could touch them. American women were given the right to vote ninety-one years ago. It’s not hard to fathom that a couple centuries earlier, the commonly-held opinion of the era was that attaching a locking device that might resemble a cheese grater to a woman’s genitals was a sensible thing to do.
That’s when I learned of a practice called infibulation. Simply put, infibulation in males refers to the practice of altering the penis by drawing the foreskin over the head, punching multiple holes, and suturing the whole thing shut. Though presumably rare today, in ancient Rome infibulation was commonly practiced on slaves to ensure celibacy. Now I’m sure that any males reading this are wincing at the thought of such barbarism, but it bears noting that athletes, actors and other performers in Ancient Greece (all of whom traditionally performed naked) submitted to this practice voluntarily – or carried it out themselves – in order to show respect for the social norms of the day; at the time, public display of the head of the penis was considered obscene. Talk about suffering for your art! (*Rim shot*)
Infibulation was re-introduced in the 19th century as a proposed cure for a number of social ills, including overpopulation – a German medical professor proposed that all poverty-level bachelors undergo the procedure for this purpose – and of course the grand bogeyman itself, masturbation. As with the performers in Ancient Greece, young men presumably seeking to avoid the fires of Hell gleefully volunteered to be infibulated at the behest of one Doctor David Yellowlees, at the time the superintendent of a Welsh insane asylum. Seeking to “make erection so painful that it would be practically impossible and seminal emission extremely unlikely” – thus somehow preventing mental disorders including epilepsy – Yellowlees set a trend of sexual torture that spread throughout the supposedly enlightened world.
I got the idea for this post from www.cracked.com. Debuting in 1958 as a publication in the vein of Mad Magazine, Cracked enjoyed a print run that lasted more than half a century, peaking in the 1970s but failing to match the popularity of its better-known competitor. Cracked disappeared from newsstands in the mid-’00s, was briefly resurrected as a glossy Maxim-style magazine, and currently exists as a popular humor website dealing with a wealth of topics from social issues to popular culture. A recent article posted at cracked.com is entitled “The 5 Most Horrific Ways People Have Tried to Discourage Sex“. If you were subjected to old wives’ tales about hairy palms, give this one a read and see how truly horrible your formative years might have been.

Print Media May Be All But Obsolete, But You Can’t Sit on Your Smartphone

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I thought this article was timely considering yesterday’s TMI Tuesday questions. I was worried that I would be betraying my innate immaturity by pointing out that the name of the city supervisor is “Weiner”, but no one who’s read this blog for any appreciable length of time is under the impression that I’m mature. Besides, the article itself mentions this point in the penultimate paragraph. Bonus points for the “butt of jokes” pun.

Proposal Would Force SF Nudists to Cover Up When Sitting

SAN FRANCISCO (CBS SF) — The right to bare all in San Francisco might soon come with some restrictions under legislation that was proposed at Tuesday afternoon’s Board of Supervisors meeting at City Hall.

The legislation, which was introduced by Supervisor Scott Wiener, would require those going nude to cover public seating before sitting down and put on clothes before entering restaurants.

Wiener’s district includes the Castro, which has seen a recent increase in public nudity, according to his office.


The supervisor said the legislation would ensure that public health standards are maintained by requiring nudists to put a towel or other item between their body and a public seat.

“San Francisco is a liberal and tolerant city, and we pride ourselves on that fact,” Wiener said in a statement.

“Yet, while we have a variety of views about public nudity, we can all agree that when you sit down naked, you should cover the seat, and that you should cover up when you go into a food establishment,” he said.

He said the idea for the ordinance came after he received numerous constituent complaints and saw some of the unsanitary behavior himself—particularly in Jane Warner Plaza and elsewhere in the Castro.

“One would hope we wouldn’t need to legislate this, but people aren’t doing it,” he said.

Before Tuesda’s meeting, Wiener emphasized that the legislation is not banning public nudity, but is simply maintaining public health standards.

He said his office has not received any complaints from local nudist groups about the proposal.

Wiener acknowledged that the legislation could be the butt of jokes as an “only in San Francisco” proposal—with the added punch line that his last name is a slang term for the male genitalia.

“They’ll say what they’re going to say,” he said. “I look forward to the conversation about this legislation.”

(Copyright 2011 by CBS San Francisco. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.)

-Jack

TMI Tuesday: Naked

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As always, check out this week’s questions at tmituesdayblog.wordpress.com.
Jack’s Answers
1. What do you wear to sleep in?
Depends on the weather. If it’s really cold, possibly sweatpants or shorts. (I never wear a shirt to bed.) If it’s warm, nothing. I expect this to change when our daughter is able to get out of bed and come into our room at night.
2. Do you ever walk around your own place naked?
Frequently, especially in warm weather. Sometimes I’m just done wearing clothes for the day.
3. Have you or would you ever answer the door naked?
I have never done this. This is less for my own protection than it is for the protection of whomever’s at the door.
4. What part of your body do you like to be on show? Why?
Got me. The whole thing?
5. When sunbathing how much do you bare?
I’ve been known to lay out in a pair of shorts or swimming trunks and nothing else.
6. Have you or would you bare all on a naturist (nude) beach?
I never have, but I can’t imagine a situation in which I’m wearing clothes at a clothing-optional location. Actually, I don’t know why I’ve never been. There are quite a few clothing-optional beaches in the area.
7. Have you ever flashed your bits in public? If not would you if it turned your partner on?
Once I found myself naked in a group setting, having lost my swimsuit. The less said about that incident, the better. But have I ever, say, whipped it out? I can’t honestly say that I have, because unlike the sexy factor of a woman popping out a breast in public, when a guy does it the police are much more likely to get involved. Suddenly it’s “indecent exposure” this and “public lewdness” that and Reverend Lovejoy’s wife is asking won’t somebody think of the children? Next thing you know I have to register as a sex offender, and then when I move to Hollywood I have to go door to door to tell everyone that I’m a pederast. What’s a pederast, Walter? Shut the fuck up, Donny. I have, however, shown my butt in public. Not a fruit bowl. Just my butt.
8. Have you ever given a striptease or has anyone given you one? Did you enjoy it?
I have been given a striptease, which I enjoyed very much. Outside of a bizarre incident whilst going through security at the airport post-9/11, I have not reciprocated. (Jill points out that sometimes when I get undressed at night I’ll “put a little grind into it” for her amusement, but I don’t think it counts.)
9. Ever gone skinny dipping? Alone or with others?
Frequently. Jill and I enjoy being naked in the water, and most family vacations have seen us taking a dip au naturel. Sometimes it’s just the two of us, though not always.
10. Do you like to look at naked people or do you want show off your nakedness?
Yes to both.
Bonus: Sexually speaking, what’s the furthest you would go with a partner in public? Have you had sex in public?
I’d go as far as I could without getting arrested. I have had sex in public on occasion, though not as frequently in the last couple years. Jill’s and my most recent semi-public adventure was in a changing room at a department store at a local mall. If security was observing, they were too busy masturbating to call the police. Our most recent semi-public adventure that did not occur behind closed doors was probably the time we got each other off in our seats while on a Trans-Atlantic flight. Good times!
Jill’s Answers
1. What do you wear to sleep in?
Nothing, but I keep PJs handy for when the in-laws visit.
2. Do you ever walk around your own place naked?
Yes. Most days by six PM I am done with clothes. Ideally I am naked from then until I get dressed the next morning.
3. Have you or would you ever answer the door naked?
Just for Jack, although I usually hold the door in front of myself so as to avoid giving the whole neighborhood a free look. When we used to live in a condo it was much easier to fling the door wide open and not worry that someone other than Jack was going to be right outside.
4. What part of your body do you like to be on show? Why?
My legs. I love my calves.
5. When sunbathing how much do you bare?
In the backyard I bare all. At a pool the farthest I’ll usually go is untying my suit to avoid tan lines.
6. Have you or would you bare all on a naturist (nude) beach?
I’d probably go topless at least, although I guess my instincts might take over when I’m actually there, leading me to bare even more if I felt sufficiently uninhibited.
7. Have you ever flashed your bits in public? If not would you if it turned your partner on?
I have flashed Jack numerous times in the car while driving, which is probably not the safest thing to do. I also sometimes flash him in other people’s houses when we know we are alone for a moment.
8. Have you ever given a striptease or has anyone given you one? Did you enjoy it?
Yes I have. It made me feel sexy. I really enjoyed it and I should do it more. I haven’t received one lately from Jack, though, and I must remedy that soon!
9. Ever gone skinny dipping? Alone or with others?
I love skinny dipping! When we do it it’s usually just the two of us although there have been times when there’s a small group. The more the merrier!
10. Do you like to look at naked people or do you want show off your nakedness?
I love looking at naked people! Naked people are hot, especially women! I love looking at pictures or webcams, but much prefer seeing naked people in person. This doesn’t happen often enough. And I do enjoy showing off my nakedness. I love it when we cam with others, and when Jack takes naked pictures of me. It’s such a turn-on.
Bonus: Sexually speaking, what’s the furthest you would go with a partner in public? Have you had sex in public?
Once I had sex at the top of a play structure at a local park. (This was before I met Jack.) It was after dark, and although we didn’t get totally naked or anything, we went at it much longer than common sense says we probably should have, considering that we were on city property. It was incredibly arousing to be out in the night air, without any barriers of any kind. Anyone could easily have seen us, and the fact that we were out in the open led to several very intense orgasms. It was probably the hottest sex I’ve ever had without Jack, and it gets me wet just thinking about it.

TMI Tuesday: I Love Music

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For the first time in more than a year, we’re participating in TMI Tuesday. Turns out that TMI Tuesday migrated from Blogger to WordPress; while we were mourning its apparent demise and posting answers to very old sets of questions, a little research might have cleared the whole thing up and kept us posting. Oh well. Thanks go out to Cougar in Training and her awesome blog for tipping us off to the new URL.

Jack’s Answers
1. What’s the most annoying song in the world?
Any children’s show theme song. As a parent, if you enjoy them you are exhibiting signs of Stockholm Syndrome.
2. What’s the saddest song in the world?
“untitled #1”, also known as “Vaka”, by Icelandic rock band Sigur Rós. Though I haven’t the slightest idea what it’s about, the song itself is haunting thanks to lead singer Jónsi Birgisson’s vocals, but it becomes even more tragic and heartbreaking upon watching the video, which depicts post-apocalyptic schoolchildren enjoying recess in the middle of nuclear winter.
3. What’s the sexiest song in the world?
Wow, that’s a tough one. As someone who has an entire playlist of sexy music on his mp3 player, the chances of easily deciding on one single song worthy of the designation “the sexiest song in the world” is pretty unlikely. However, the song that immediately popped into my head when I read this question is Paula Cole’s “Feelin’ Love.” It’s a grimy, sweaty little number that exudes confidence, attitude, and sex. Though I don’t remember much about the young lady who introduced this song to me in the late 1990s, I remember all too well the lapdance that I enjoyed while it played.
4. Name a new, to you, band or music artist that you can’t get enough of? Post a link to one of their songs.
I can’t think of one. There are a few bands and artists I’ve recently discovered, but none of them appeal to me on the “can’t get enough” level. Most fall into the “catchy song; I’ll definitely make time to listen to more of their stuff in the future” category. Most of the absolute essentials, the artists and bands of whom who I truly can’t get enough – Led Zeppelin, Warren Zevon, Miles Davis, Run-DMC, Dean Martin, George Clinton, AC/DC, et. al – were discovered by me during my formative years.
5. Have you met any famous musicians?
No.
6. What song best describes your life?
“You Can Get it if You Really Want” by Jimmy Cliff. This reggae hit taught me that, in order to succeed, one must be driven and actually want to achieve success.
7. How important is your partner’s taste in music to you?
Not important in the slightest.
8. Do you sing in the shower?
No. Instead I have meaningful discussions with one of my alternate personalities.
9. What was the last live music show you attended? Did you buy a t-shirt?
Metallica in December 2009. No, I didn’t buy a T-shirt.
10. What’s the sweetest song in the world?
“My Girl”, by the Temptations
11. Can you play a musical instrument? Which one?
No.
12. Are you in a band or are you a performing solo music artist? If yes, what kind of music do you play?
No.
13. Have you ever dated a musician?
At the risk of really driving home my boringness, no.
14. Are you a groupie?
– If yes, for what artist/band?
– If no, do you wish you were and for what music performing artist or band?
No. At another point in my life I might have wished that I was – or even worked hard to be – a groupie doling out sexual favors for the likes of the Donnas, AC/DShe, the Runaways, Luscious Jackson, or Liz Phair. Now, sadly, the life of a groupie no longer suits me.
Bonus: Describe your worst, best, strangest, funniest or saddest concert moment.
Best: High-fiving Brian Johnson at an AC/DC concert in Boston.
Funniest: Watching an out-of-place Dad try to look hip at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and watching his kids try to enjoy themselves with their Dad standing next to them.
Bonus, Bonus: If you listen to the radio, what station and type of music are you tuned to the most?
Radio? What is this, 2002?
Jill’s Answers
1. What’s the most annoying song in the world?
“Milk and Cereal by G Love and the Special Sauce.” After that one is “I Love My Shirt” by Dion, and the main theme from “Super Mario Bros.” These are all songs that Jack has forced me to listen to on road trips.


2. What’s the saddest song in the world?
“My Heart Will Go On”, by Celine Dion. I happened to hear this song last night, and it really got to me.
3. What’s the sexiest song in the world?
“Pour Some Sugar On Me” by Def Leppard. There’s no question about it. I’ve had a lot of sex with this song playing.


4. Name a new, to you, band or music artist that you can’t get enough of? Post a link to one of their songs.
I have no idea. I’m pretty far from the mainstream musical zeitgeist.
5. Have you met any famous musicians?
No.


6. What song best describes your life?
Probably “Manic Monday”, by the Bangles. It accurately describes the start of my work week.
7. How important is your partner’s taste in music to you?
It’s not that important. There are way too many factors I consider much more important. I can’t imagine his taste in music, or movies for that matter, to be a deal-breaker.


8. Do you sing in the shower?
Yes I do. Shh! Don’t tell anyone.


9. What was the last live music show you attended? Did you buy a t-shirt?
A friend’s band performed at a local bar. I’m going with that because the last actual concert I went to was almost a decade ago.
10. What’s the sweetest song in the world?
“Top of the World” by The Carpenters


11. Can you play a musical instrument? Which one?
No. (Jack wants me to say that I play the skin flute.)


12. Are you in a band or are you a performing solo music artist? If yes, what kind of music do you play?
No.


13. Have you ever dated a musician?
I went out with a guy who was a drummer in a garage band. He was boring, though, and I dumped him.


14. Are you a groupie?
– If yes, for what artist/band?
– If no, do you wish you were and for what music performing artist or band?
No.


Bonus: Describe your worst, best, strangest, funniest or saddest concert moment.
Best: Seeing the Beach Boys at the Circle Star Theater when I was sixteen.


Bonus, Bonus: If you listen to the radio, what station and type of music are you tuned to the most?
Whether I’m driving or working out, chances are I’m listening to an audio book rather than the radio.

Where We’ve Been and What We’ve Done (With a Little HNT on the Wrong Day)

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After more than a year missing in action, we thought it only fair to bring up to speed anyone who might still be reading. First off, our blog title is now a misnomer, as we have moved, and are no longer in the 916 area code (though we are most certainly still frisky). While we considered changing the name of our blog – Frisky Near the 916 would have been accurate, though in our opinion, less catchy – ultimately we decided to leave it as-is, with the understanding that we do not intend to maliciously mislead our readership; we just like the title.
Over the course of the last thirteen months, we’ve enjoyed a varied and exciting sex life: We completed a year’s worth of submissions at Half-Nekkid Thursday (HNT). We hosted or attended two Porn and Pizza parties. We had four threesomes, all with the same third (which I suppose should have been first on this list). Jill took the “curious” out of her “bi-curious” descriptor, which made my thirty-fourth birthday an occasion to remember – and which was re-enacted on my thirty-fifth. We webcammed for sexual purposes around ten times (not much, admittedly). Jill gave a live-action masturbation demonstration for the benefit of some friends who have never used a vibrator, or seen one used outside of porn.
For the first time in four years, we didn’t go on a camping trip with Jill’s extended family this summer. Therefore we didn’t go skinny-dipping in some variety of murky lake. It’s something of a summer tradition for Jill and I to sneak away from our campsite, cabin, or rented house, and take an after-hours dip sans swimsuits. It’s not a big secret, really; we even managed to get away for an hour of au naturel fun last summer despite concerns that new parenthood would get in the way. I’m sure it would have happened this summer had such a camping trip been planned, but for various reasons it didn’t happen. Nonetheless, we rediscovered the joys of midafternoon outdoor sex in our very large, mostly private backyard. Apologies to any neighbors who may have overheard our escapades and been traumatized.
We did, however, have sex in a foreign country this summer. Technically speaking we were aboard a cruise ship that was docked in a foreign port of call, but I say it counts. This is our first time having sex on foreign soil since 2007. We were overdue. Was it any better – or worse – than domestic sex? Not really. Was it any different? Probably not. Is there any reason for me to even mention it? Not at all. Is our daughter a very sound sleeper? Yes, and we are thankful for this.
Our Twitter account (@jackandjillcpl) was born this summer as an alternative to blogging and an a means of talking about sex and getting in touch with fellow sex-positives. We weren’t planning on re-launching the blog when we decided to start the account. As it is, our Twitter feed may be short-lived; we’ve been largely unsuccessful at attracting followers. Though, to be fair, in its heyday this blog wasn’t exactly setting the blogosphere on fire. Also, after fifty-two straight weeks of HNT in 2010, we took the first seven months of this year off, though we’re once again submitting pictures for the enjoyment of discriminating pervs everywhere.
Here’s a taste of what we’ve been posting on Half-Nekkid Thursday the last few weeks.


Other than that, life has been consistent: Typical suburban family kind of stuff. How are you?
-Jack

Charity Begins at Home

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I came across this article today.


Is charity sex better than no sex?

Is pushing yourself when you’re not in the mood an investment in your relationship?

You may be bristling at the phrase “charity sex.” If you’re a woman, perhaps it brings to mind past, award-worthy, faked orgasms. Or maybe it reminds you of that time you bit your tongue and had sex because you were sick of hearing him ask for it. If you’re a guy, you might be thinking, “better than nothing.”

Or possibly, just possibly, you assume I’m referring to guilt-induced sex…… the sort you engage in because you feel bad for not throwing your partner a bone lately… the sort you suffer through, only to feel resentment later on.

But don’t equate charity sex with pity sex. Rather, see charity sex as a means of reestablishing a connection with your partner, and of making an important investment in your relationship.

Think of it as a donation, rather than an assessment. As blogger Heidi Raykeil has written, “The other night I was enjoying some “me” time, curled up on the couch watching the latest episode of “Grey’s Anatomy.” Meanwhile, my husband was tossing and turning in bed, stressed out over his latest work project.

Frankly, between McDreamy and McSteamy, I was already pretty satisfied. But if I know one thing about my husband, it’s that sex helps him sleep. So I put down the remote and headed upstairs to take one for the team. That’s right: I had charity sex. And you know what? It was actually pretty hot.”

Pity sex is about checking sex off your to-do list. Charity sex is about checking in with each other. It’s not about meeting someone else’s physical needs—it’s about meeting your relationship’s emotional ones. It’s about opening up, quite literally, to each other.

Why might you engage in charity sex? You might do it because your partner is all wound up from work, and sex relaxes him or her. You might do it because she’s feeling a little down, and sex gives her a boost. Or maybe you do it because —- like some 41 million Americans – you’ve both gone too many days, weeks, or even months without sex.

It’s easy for sex to fall to the bottom of your to-do list when you have so many other things on your mind. The bills? The housework? The kids? The latest episode of “Breaking Bad”? Who has time for sex!? Unfortunately, the less often you have sex, the harder it is to get back into the groove. Testosterone levels drop and, as a result, libido levels drop, too. Before you know it, you’re experiencing the longest dry spell of your life.

Charity? You feel you don’t have enough to give! Fortunately, if you dig deep, you can still do your relationship some good. How?

Fake it ’til you make it. No. I’m not advocating fake orgasms. But there’s definitely something to be said for putting in a little effort. With charity sex, you may not initially feel as if you’re in the mood, but if you start going through the motions, your desire will likely catch up.

As Emily Nagoski has written in the “Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms,” “Putting your body through the moves of faking one could actually lead to having one.” So start slowly, with intimate touching. Allow yourself to enjoy some pleasurable sensations. Try not to think about anything —- your to-do list; that meeting tomorrow morning -— but how it feels when the two of you touch. Before you know it, that offering of charity sex will start to feel like a gift to both of you.

Take away the pressure. When you’re not in the mood for sex, an orgasm may seem out of the question. And you may ask yourself: Why even have sex if I’m not getting the big payoff? But there’s a lot to be said about the stuff that happens before the orgasm. So don’t fixate too much on the end result. Rather, enjoy those moan-inducing caresses and toe-curling nibbles as they’re happening. Remain in the moment. You never know. Your body may surprise you.

Remember how good it was. Remember all the reasons you’re together. Remember what things were like when they were still new and undeniably hot. And then think of how much things have changed. How can you give back to that relationship? What are you willing to do to revitalize it?

Is charity sex better than no sex? And can it be a good thing for your relationship? You tell me.

Some thoughts: While reading this article, Jill and I were, to be honest, surprised by phrases like “the sort [of sex] you engage in because you feel bad for not throwing your partner a bone lately”, and “take one for the team.” Look, I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging, even though it’s probably going to sound that way, but neither Jill nor I can imagine a period in our lives, past or future, wherein we didn’t or won’t want sex on pretty much an equal level. I’m not saying that we’ll always have sex as frequently or as enthusiastically as we’re having it now, especially when our daughter is older and perhaps less able to sleep through noisy lovemaking. I’m not saying we’ll always be on equal footing with regard to our desire for sex. But based on our relationship up to this point, neither of us can imagine it. Sure, we know couples whose sex lives changed for the worse over time, but to be honest we always assumed that these couples weren’t having the kind of sex we have, or weren’t all that into sex to begin with.
I realize that this is a very simplistic view. Even though Jill and I had sex thirty-six times in July, I realize that this may be a career high that we will never again match, let alone exceed. There are many reasons why people are having less sex. In the current economic climate, Americans have to work harder to bring home less money. We raise children. We cook meals. We are tired. We want entertainment after a hard day and all too often this means spending a few hours in front of the television, sometimes falling asleep in front of it. Additionally, we grow complacent in our relationships. We may not try as hard to please our partners. We take them for granted. We assume they’re just as tired, or feeling as unsexy, as we are.
Let’s face it, Breaking Bad is a critically-acclaimed and very highly-rated cable drama series. But if, as the article suggests, you can’t postpone the television watching for a couple nights when the opportunity for sex presents itself, then your priorities weren’t skewed toward sex to begin with. You’re probably happier watching television. However, if you would rather be having sex with your significant other than watching television but find that television regularly wins out, then I implore you: Set the DVR and have at it.
Do tired, overworked and underappreciated wives really grit their teeth, lie back and think of Johnny Depp? We’re sure they do, just as we’re sure that sex-starved blue collar husbands beg, plead, cajole and guilt their disinterested wives into having sex with them on their birthdays. But why is this the hackneyed paradigm that we’ve all come to expect from women’s magazines, talk shows and shallow self-help articles on mainstream news websites? Is the fact that men are traditionally portrayed as virile, physical and proactive the reason why they are always the ones in need of sex? Is the fact that women are traditionally portrayed as emotional, prim and – for lack of a better word – ladylike the reason why they are the ones who are sometimes not in the mood? Despite what the author of this article might like us to believe, there are undoubtedly countless male-female couples for whom the opposite is true. Consider the hard-working female CEO who comes home after a long work day eager for sex with the stay-at-home-Dad who’s just gotten the kids fed, washed, and put to bed, and doesn’t have the energy for sex.
Oh, and one last thing: The author’s distinction between pity sex and charity sex is bullshit; the only distinction exists in his own mind. Somehow I doubt that, based on the label, the recipient of “charity sex” would feel like much more of a person than the sorry soul on the receiving end of “pity sex”.

So It’s Been Thirteen Months…

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…and I suppose that we owe all of you an apology, or at the very least an explanation.

I know what you’re all thinking: New baby equals less frequent sex. The truth of the matter, however, is that Jill and I are having sex as often as we used to, if not more often. In fact, throughout the month of July we managed to have sex thirty-six times. That’s right, more than once per day on average. This is certainly a record for us. So no, our sex life hasn’t suffered in the least. So what, exactly, has kept us from sharing our exploits with all of you for more than a year?
First off, we completely forgot how to log into our Blogger account to post anything. That may sound ridiculous, but it’s true: With multiple Blogger accounts, e-mail accounts, Facebook accounts, and all the other websites to which we have to log in – and for which internet security experts as well as common sense suggest different passwords – the process for logging into the account associated with this blog quite simply eluded us. Of course, it took us several months to actually forget our login and password, which means that we had already gone an extended period of time without blogging before we forgot. So this was not the primary reason.
You may recall that, before we stopped blogging, we regularly posted our TMI Tuesday answers. Participating in TMI Tuesday each week allowed us to consistently offer new content; even if we weren’t writing in-depth original blog entries and sharing fantasies or actual sexual experiences, participating in TMI Tuesday kept us in the habit of logging into our account (and accordingly not forgetting our login and password), and actually writing something, which of course made it easier to post more substantial original content when we had the opportunity. It was also a lot of fun for Jill and I to read the questions and discuss our answers. In late April 2010, TMI Tuesday stopped posting questions each week, and since then there has been only one set of questions, and nothing since May 2011. Our last bastion of regular content gone, our semi-regular blogging petered out.
Another factor in the cessation was an upswing in my own writing. I consider myself a novelist, though I suppose I’m more interested in considering myself a novelist than I am in actually writing. Because I’m not motivated to write creatively as frequently I would like to be, I have to sieze any opportunity to do so, and make the most of it. Though I can’t cite the source, I once read – likely in a writing magazine or website – that every word a writer writes in his or her blog is a word not written in his or her novel. This resonated with me, and put me off of blogging somewhat. Was the hiatus worth it? Well, I’ve got a couple decent rough drafts finished, and the second draft of one of my works is underway, so yeah, I guess it was.
Also, shortly after our last entry, Jill and I had a threesome with a friend of ours. In a way, this was more the cause for our hiatus than anything else. You see, I’ve wanted to have a threesome for pretty much as long as I can remember. Ever since I’ve been aware that sex existed, I’ve wanted to find out what it was like to have sex with two women. I think this is evidence of my greedy nature; if sex with one woman is fun, sex with two women must be really fun, right? Given my singular focus, it’s accurate to say that virtually everything I’ve done over the past fifteen years-plus has been in the hopes of making my fantasy come true. Studying a particular discipline? Choosing an apartment? Picking out a tie? Yes, every one of these decisions and countless others were made with the thought of pleasing two woman at once, and of course being pleased by them as well. Sadly, however, my absolute and total lack of game is made painfully apparent by the fact that it took nearly two decades – or at the very least a wife as perfect as Jill – for this fantasy to come true. Anyway, once I’d experienced it, it occurred to me that we didn’t need the blog anymore, as the reason we’d begun writing in it had manifested itself. I eventually came to my senses and remembered how much I enjoyed the blog, but by then of course it was too late, and I hadn’t a clue how to access it.
So those are our excuses for disappearing from the blogosphere for more than a year. Needless to say, even though they are good excuses are far as excuses go, we feel very sheepish about our behavior, and we will try to do better. Yes, I know we’ve said that before, but we were serious then and we’re serious now. We’ve started a Twitter feed (after years of swearing we’d never Tweet) dedicated to our sex life, and hopefully between this blog and that feed you’ll be able to stay informed as to what’s going on in Sexy-Jack-and-Jill-Land. We will try and link our Twitter feed to this blog so that you can see our Tweets here, but until we do, we’re @jackandjillcpl. Most of our followers thusfar are bots. (For all I know, all of our followers here are bots too – we’ve been gone awhile.)
– Jack