While stopped at an intersection on the way to their house, I noticed “4-way” printed at the bottom of the stop sign and chuckled. Certainly we’d talked about having a four-way, but I wasn’t necessarily expecting it, and I’m sure Jill wasn’t either. Still, we’d spent the better part of four hours having breakfast and conversation; certainly we’d all hit it off quite nicely. And while the other wife and I got on incredibly well – indeed, even better than Jill and the other husband – I’ve never really viewed myself as that guy.

You know what I mean by “that guy”: The confident Alpha male who develops an easy connection with a beautiful woman and transitions smoothly from breakfast (or dinner, or drinks, or whatever) to her place and gets laid. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been this guy before. I totally have. But not in years, and when I was, it really didn’t seem all that smooth a transition. I was never expecting it to. So I don’t really view myself this way.

(Actually it had only been about a year and a half or so since it had last happened. See what I’m saying? No matter how often it happens, I still don’t view myself as the sort of guy who experiences things worthy of Penthouse Forum.)

We hung out in their living room, continuing the small talk and aware of the palpable sexual tension that was soon to come to a head. When the other wife left the room, the other husband – I’m going to refer to them as TOW and TOH for brevity’s sake, or better still, just W and H – suggested I make a move on her when she returned. I was hesitant; while I am absolutely a take charge guy in the bedroom, I am sometimes less so until we actually get there. The first time out I need to know beyond a doubt that my advances are wanted. And while I was pretty sure they hadn’t invited us back to their place to check out the fire pit in the yard, express consent is kind of a requirement for me. I’m not sure what I expected, exactly – “I’m ready for you to fuck me, Jack” would have nicely removed any lingering doubts, but would also have been really awkward – but I had been communicating directly with W through Twitter DMs and Kik messages for more than a year, I enjoyed the connection we’d been building, and I didn’t want to inadvertently do anything that might curtail it.

Note that just because there is chemistry, or an intense connection online, that doesn’t always translate to a connection in person. It’s normal to hope for it, even expect it, but that isn’t reality. The way someone presents themselves via Twitter or another social network is one thing, and who they are offline is often something else entirely. So it stands to reason that despite how well we got along when separated by hundreds of miles, once sitting across from each other at the restaurant she might have decided she wasn’t feeling it. I’m not such an egomaniac that I’d take the connection for granted.

Perhaps this is why I don’t see myself as that guy: I need some evidence that my potential partner wants what I want. And if you’re going to wait for said evidence, you’re bound to miss an opportunity or two. It happens; I’ve accepted it. This is also a big part of why I appreciate Twitter so much. When you’re able to exhibit your sexual side in a safe environment, it takes away a lot of pressure when it comes time to actually meet in person, away from the online safety net.

And that’s why my connection with W was so strong. We are both somewhat introverted, with a lot of shared interests. We even have parenting styles in common. So while we’d spent so long getting to know each other and ensuring when we did actually meet it would be comfortable, I still had some difficulty initiating things once we were inside their house. It’s ridiculous, I know; why else would we be there if not to fuck? We’d discussed it on many occasions, we knew they were non-monogamous, and they probably had a signal worked out in case one or the other wanted to end breakfast without inviting us back to their house. They knew what they were doing.

Fortunately, once she returned to the room, W saved me the trouble by mounting me in the armchair where I sat and kissing me hungrily. It was the first time we’d ever kissed, despite more than a year of talking about it. We’d talked about a great deal more than just kissing, in fact. Her lips were soft and sweet, her kiss strong. She introduced her tongue quickly, and I reciprocated. It was every bit as intense as I’d anticipated, and I could tell she felt the same.

At the same time, on a futon on the other side of the room, Jill and H had begun playing as well. Shirt buttons were undone, shoes kicked off. Hands slid into pants, and bare flesh began to reveal itself. As hot as the spectacle on the futon was, it wasn’t difficult to keep my focus on my partner. This was everything I’d been awaiting for a very long time. We continued to kiss, caressing each other’s bodies as we undressed. By the time she took off my pants, intent on finally taking me into her mouth after all this time, I was rock-hard and ready for her.

I fingered her as she knelt over me, completely naked. Her thighs were warm, her lips slick and slippery. Her wetness betrayed the attraction and the arousal she’d felt all day. I rotated my thumb over her clit as my fingers worked their way in and out of her. After awhile, I put on a condom and watched with delight as she lowered herself onto my cock.

To be continued…

For the last several years, Jill and I have described ourselves as “monogamish”, not quite monogamous, but definitely not open. However, the fact is that for more than a year now, we’ve had a completely open relationship. You may have gleaned this if you follow us on Twitter, or if you’ve caught the occasional reference here on our blog. However, there hasn’t been any sort of official announcement here, no blog post dedicated to declaring our availability to perverts throughout the blogosphere, no full-page ad in the New York Times. So I guess I’d better explain how it all started.

While on a road trip in April 2016, Jill and I met a couple we knew from Twitter. The four of us had talked online on occasion, Jill with the other husband, and I with the other wife (and on a fairly regular basis the other husband as well). We talked about sex, certainly, but we also discussed life: Parenting, marriage, popular culture. This wasn’t just a hookup in the making; it seemed to be a close friendship. We frequently entertained the possibility of meeting. It was bandied about with some regularity, as one of those “might happen someday” things that proliferate on Twitter. Luckily, they were less than a day’s drive from us, and it occurred to me that it was less a question of if than of when.

The other couple had long been non-monogamous, and they were ready to take our budding friendship to the next level. We, on the other hand, were not so prepared. Well, I’d like to think I was, but the thought of bringing it up seriously with Jill as something I actually wanted to happen rather than something I was content to leave as mere fantasy was, frankly, a little daunting. We weren’t planning to meet this couple to discuss politics over breakfast, or roast marshmallows over their backyard fire pit (though we have since done both of those things with them). Any eventual meeting was almost inevitably bound to involve sex.

And it did. Not just any sex, mind you; we had the kind of long-smoldering full-swap foursome I didn’t think my wife would ever be on board with. After all, while she’d let me have sex with other women, even without her present, her long-held position was that she didn’t think she’d ever want to have sex with another man. She didn’t need to; after all, I was the man she married, and she’d been raised to believe in monogamy, not just sexual monogamy but emotional monogamy as well. Obviously we’d pushed against this programming in the past, usually in the context of threesomes. But it still wasn’t her natural way of being.

That said, Jill likes getting romantic and sexual attention from people other than myself. And why shouldn’t she? It’s a natural thing, I believe, which is why even those who are dyed-in-the-wool monogamists often find it difficult to resist such advances. That said, while she’d fooled around before, I’d never watched her. And while I’d long found such a thing enticing on a fantasy level, there was no way to know how I’d feel once it was actually happening. Still, given the connection I’d developed with the other wife, I was willing to take the risk.

Over the following twelve months plus, we enjoyed a still-ongoing journey that was mostly ups with some minor downs, and not just with this other couple. We re-examined the boundaries we had previously set, and in most cases, dismantled them. We broadened our sexual horizons – admittedly already pretty broad – while exploring polyamory and in general opening ourselves to a breadth of new experiences. We got on a plane – something I hadn’t done in more than three years – for the express purpose of playing with others. And overall I don’t believe Jill nor I have any regrets.

There is much I’ve wanted to write about the adventure on which we find ourselves. For various reasons, including hesitation to record my thoughts on our experiences as they were still happening, I’ve neglected to do so. (Note that I have blogged in a limited fashion about my experiences with Rye.) However, the sensations, feelings, and memories of the past year are still vivid, and I believe I will dedicate a few upcoming posts to various reflections, thoughts, and specific experiences. As with everything I post to this blog, I do it for ourselves, so that we have a record of this particular time in our lives. But I also hope that, in the event anyone sees fit to read it, they enjoy it, and maybe feel equal measures enlightenment and arousal. Stay tuned.

I’m in your bedroom, standing beside your bed.  You are naked, on your hands and knees.  You sit up and paw at my erection through my jeans; my arousal is obvious.  Meanwhile, I gaze at your body for the first time, my eyes darting in a hundred directions, trying to capture in my mind everything I’ve long wanted to see.  The anticipation is almost too great to bear.  Finally you unbuckle my belt, and my cock strains hard against the denim, desperate to be set free.  In seconds, my belt is unhitched, my jeans open, and my erection in your hands.  You begin by stroking it, then follow your hands with your tongue.  The sensations are overwhelming, and I gaze down at you just in time to see you swallow me to the base.  I watch your mouth move up and down my throbbing length, enjoying the sounds you make as you suck.

After a few moments the sound of a zipper draws my attention to the other side of the room where he sits in a chair.  His enjoyment of the show is obvious as much from the fact that his gaze hasn’t wavered as from the fact that his pants are now down to his ankles, his stiff, swollen cock in hand.  He watches with a look of unhinged lust as you pleasure me wantonly, and when you notice where my eyes are you look over at him, smiling hungrily as you spread yourself open in a way that he can’t help but see.  After a second you re-focus on your task and once again take me down your throat.  Then you lower your mouth to my balls and begin to lick and suck as your hand works my length.

Excited by your performance, he continues to stroke  himself, then gets up from his chair to take a closer look. His pants discarded and forgotten on the floor, he stands close to me, holding his hard cock inches from your face.  Now it’s my turn to enjoy the show.  You kiss the head, and I watch as your lips part to slowly take him in your mouth, holding him there long enough to make him moan. You come back up, desperate for air, and I watch you swirl your tongue all over the head, then dive back down for more.  All the while, my cock remains enclosed in your hand, your thumb rubbing erotically over the head and drawing me ever closer to the point of no return.

After a few minutes, he tells you he wants to watch you suck me again.  As I step out of my pants he moves back and continues to stroke while you take me in your mouth again.  Breathless with excitement, he tells me to fuck your throat, and you brace yourself against the mattress as I began to thrust.  As my hips meet your mouth, he takes off his shirt and climbs up onto the bed.  As you feel him finger you, you suck harder, deeper.  He shoves his length inside you and places his hands on your ass, spreading you wide as he hammers you. At the same time I take hold of your hair, guiding your mouth.  You moan around my cock as he plunges deeply, his balls slapping against you with each movement.  He and I fuck you like we are trying to meet in the middle, and I can tell as you stroke your clit you’re getting close.

You announce your climax as best you can, your words muffled by my cock still deep in your throat.  As your sounds of release intensify, so do his.  You suck me faster, desperate for your reward.  You stroke my cock as you suck, the double-stimulation bringing me closer to the edge.  As he comes, he holds your hips and pulls you down onto him, grunting and groaning as he floods you, still thrusting with all his might.  Watching this unfold, imagining your pussy squeezing his cock, wringing out every last drop, there’s no way I can hold back.  I tell you I’m coming, and you take me as deeply as you can and hold me there, my moans adding to the cacophony of sex sounds filling the room as your lips hug the base of my cock.  You swallow it all down, and we collapse onto the bed to catch our breath before starting anew.

It’s another edition of TMI Tuesday: “Would You Rather…?”

Jack’s Answers

1. If you and your significant other played “sexual truth or dare” with other couples, would you rather watch your s.o. have sex with someone or would you prefer having sex with someone in front of your s.o.?
We’ve had full-swap foursomes and they’re a lot of fun, so I’m thinking I’ll go off the board and say both, at the same time. I mean, if there were just three of us present, I wouldn’t mind just watching while not having sex, or having sex while Jill watches. But since the question specifically mentions “other couples”, i.e. more than just three people, I see no reason why I would expect two people (or more) to spectate when they could be doing their own thing.

2. Would you rather watch your favorite porn with your sibling or read your favorite sexy erotica out loud to your parent(s)?
First off, no way in hell am I reading erotica to my parents. That seems like a good way to kill erotica for me forever. Unfortunately for the purposes of this question, I have no blood siblings with whom to watch porn. Fortunately, Jill has many, and I can think of a few with whom I’d enjoy the experience of watching porn. Ideally naked, with vibrators and lube and whatever libations might be appreciated. I doubt that suggesting such a thing would go over well, however.

3. To get sexually aroused, would you rather watch girl on girl porn or guy on guy porn?
Girl-on-girl, please. Not that I haven’t watched porn where two men interact directly, but it’s not my preference, and while I might in theory find it sexy to see any two people consensually exchanging pleasure, the value decreases a bit without a woman in the mix.

4. Would you rather have sex with your boss, in an office conference room or masturbate at home knowing that your neighbor is watching?
Funny you should ask; I actually did once have sex with my then-boss at work, though in her office, not in a conference room. Since I’m currently self-employed, and therefore my own boss, I guess what the question is asking is whether I would masturbate in an office conference room. I don’t believe I would; I have no access to such a room, and I imagine if I bogarted my way into some private company’s conference room and started beating it with reckless abandon, I’d be spending the night in jail at the very least. Therefore I would much rather masturbate at home in full view of the neighbor. And I’d enjoy it provided said neighbor wasn’t in some way being forced to watch. Ideally he or she (ideally she) would be enjoying the show, perhaps so aroused that he or she is putting on a similar show.

5. Based on your current mood, would you rather try out new and kinky sex ideas or have romantic sex?
At the moment I’m feeling pretty tired. Not sure I want to break out any new tricks, so let’s just have romantic sex and fall asleep in each other’s arms.

Bonus: Would you rather have three kids and no money or no kids with three million dollars?
This question reminds me of a particular Simpsons clip. That can’t be a coincidence, can it?  Anyway, I love my kid and I wouldn’t trade her for all the money in the world, yadda yadda yadda. However, I also don’t want two more, and since I have to pick one option or the other, show me the money!

Jill’s Answers

1. If you and your significant other played “sexual truth or dare” with other couples, would you rather watch your s.o. have sex with someone or would you prefer having sex with someone in front of your s.o.?
Both would actually be fine. I’d prefer for them to be happening simultaneously. If not, I think I would rather watch than be watched. I really enjoy watching and seeing how Jack interacts with another woman.

2. Would you rather watch your favorite porn with your sibling or read your favorite sexy erotica out loud to your parent(s)?
I would much rather watch porn with one of my siblings. While most of my siblings and I do not openly discuss sex on a regular basis, I don’t have any problem with it if it were to occur. Additionally, if I were to watch porn with one of them, I imagine it would lead to some sort of dialogue, hopefully a sex-positive one. On the other hand, I don’t think I would be comfortable reading erotica to my parents at all. That would definitely be awkward, and make me feel uncomfortable.

3. To get sexually aroused, would you rather watch girl on girl porn or guy on guy porn?
Girl-on-girl porn. I think women are gorgeous, and as I’ve been in intimate situations with women, I can relate to it and imagine it happening to me. I might even remember certain parts of it for the next time I find myself having sex with another woman. I’m not opposed to guy-on-guy porn and in fact would probably enjoy watching it, but it’s harder for me to use in a fantasy, and therefore get aroused.

4. Would you rather have sex with your boss, in an office conference room or masturbate at home knowing that your neighbor is watching?
I’m definitely not attracted to my boss. He’s rather awkward to be around, and probably not conducive to sex. But I really love the idea of being watched. I wouldn’t mind the neighbor watching and would probably be more animated knowing I have an audience. It turns me on.

5. Based on your current mood, would you rather try out new and kinky sex ideas or have romantic sex?
Both are wonderful, but at the moment probably romantic sex. I’m feeling like I’d appreciate cuddling and kissing more than kink right now. The thought of being restrained, of having my arms held down as I’m fucked without mercy is hot, for sure. But at the moment I am more into slow exploration and long, sweet kisses.

Bonus: Would you rather have three kids and no money or no kids with three million dollars?
Three million dollars would solve a lot of problems and ensure some amazing travel, but I have a wonderful little girl I wouldn’t trade for any amount of money. She wants siblings anyway, so I guess I’ll go with three kids and no money. [Editor’s note: Are you out of your mind?]

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Hey. Glad you are checking us out. Have some fun and play TMI Tuesday!

Life: dating, your body and more

Jack’s Answers

1. What period of your life was the happiest? Why?
There are so many smart-assed answers I could give here: The period between my birth and when my parents took me home from the hospital, the hour following the receipt of my first blowjob, the week between the penultimate episode of Seinfeld and the finale. All would be arbitrary bullshit designed to distract from the fact that I don’t have a really good answer for this question. While there have been countless periods of my life that have been absolutely amazing – I’m talking nonstop fun and excitement, with new challenges and lots of gratification – I can’t say that any of them were happier than any other, and I certainly can’t say that any of them were the happiest. Additionally, there were periods of my life that saw some of the most incredible highs, but I can’t say these entire periods were happy because said highs were surrounded by lows. For the sake of having an answer, though, I’m going to go with right now. Because while right now isn’t by any means perfect – witness the shit show going on in this country – I’m alive. I appear to be healthy. My family is as well. There is a roof over my head. In this moment I am happy, and that’s good enough for me.

2. True or False. If you want a successful date, take charge–take the lead. Why?
If “you” refers to me specifically, false. I’ve had successful dates where I let the other party lead. Sometimes I was traveling and wasn’t sure of the area, so I deferred to my date. That said, I generally do take the lead. I like to be proactive; no one enjoys “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” On the other hand, if “you” refers to the collective, as in this question is a general rule for life, again I must say false. What works for one person won’t necessarily work for the next.

3. True or false: Males are aggressive and assertive, and women are nurturing. Explain your answer.
False. This is antiquated gender stereotyping. And while there is a basis for the stereotype, it’s enough of a fallacy as to be completely irrelevant these days. Not only do I believe these stereotypes are almost totally baseless, I believe they actively harm our society. The notion of the aggressive male leads to toxic masculinity, whereas the notion of a woman being incapable of such strength leads to the election of an inept, inadequate, predatory candidate – the aforementioned toxic male – simply because he’s not a woman.

4. Is your body keeping you from a good sex life? How so?
I don’t think so. Don’t get me wrong, my body probably is keeping me from lots of things: A career as a dashing fortysomething actor and model, running a marathon, climbing up more than six stairs. But a good sex life? No way. The sex I’m having these days is pretty astonishing inasmuch as pop culture has taught me that the typical paunchy, schlubby dad doesn’t get laid quite as often or as well as I have the last few years.

5. Smiles. Do you have a sexy smile that is different from your regular smile? Post a pic of your sexy smile or describe it for us?
No indeed. My general-purpose smile is more along the lines of “shy awkward guy seeing sunlight for the first time in a couple days”. If I’ve had a few drinks or am feeling really confident I suppose I could muster up a less awkward smile, but it’s still not going to be a sexy one. If I try to smile in a sexy way I probably look berserk, like the Joker from Batman, or the guy at the bar who you’re afraid might break a beer bottle and wave it around menacingly at any second.

Bonus: May is Masturbation Month. Which of these is your best benefit from masturbating:
a. helps you to relax and/or fall asleep
b. boosts self-esteem
c. combats erectile dysfunction
d. helps you know what feels good so you can tell your sex partner
I’m going to go with (a), because while I don’t usually have trouble falling asleep, an orgasm right before I do tends to ensure a restful night. Also, as a guy who carries a lot of anxiety, I find that masturbation is even better than Xanax. It’s a great way to de-stress, such as when another car cuts you off, though in that case you should probably wait until you get home before you handle your business.

Jill’s Answers

1. What period of your life was the happiest? Why?
I don’t know of any one period of my life that was happier than any other, really. So instead I’ll go with a time of year, every year, when I am particularly happy. That time of year is summer. During summer I get two months of vacation from work. I get to spend time iwth my family. I get more time to myself as well. I usually get to travel, and travel makes me happy as I always love a good adventure. Plus in summertime I get to swim.

2. True or False. If you want a successful date, take charge–take the lead. Why?
False. I usually like it when it’s a surprise. If I am happy with the person I’m with, I will have a good time anywhere we go. I enjoy both simple and fancy dinners. I enjoy walks and picnics, life shows and movies, a cup of coffee at a cafe or a drink at a bar. It truly doesn’t matter as long as I am happy with who I’m with.

3. True or false: Males are aggressive and assertive, and women are nurturing. Explain your answer.
False. That’s not always the case. There are aggressive women and nurturing ones, just as there are nurturing men and aggressive ones. And depending on the situation(s), one person can be both aggressive and nurturing, whether male or female.

4. Is your body keeping you from a good sex life? How so?
I don’t think it is. I’m enjoying my sex life. Although losing some weight may help some positions be more comfortable (or even attainable in the first place), I don’t feel as though I am lacking anything whatsoever.

5. Smiles. Do you have a sexy smile that is different from your regular smile? Post a pic of your sexy smile or describe it for us?
I think I smile the same way when I’m trying to be sexy and when I’m just smiling. I think this is because whether I am receiving good news or about to seduce my lover, I am happy, and my expression reflects that. When I purposely try to smile sexily, I usually laugh because I think I look silly.

Bonus: May is Masturbation Month. Which of these is your best benefit from masturbating:
a. helps you to relax and/or fall asleep
b. boosts self-esteem
c. combats erectile dysfunction
d. helps you know what feels good so you can tell your sex partner
(a) Helps me relax and/or fall asleep. I love a good orgasm right before I drift off.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Thank you for helping me get Masturbation Month off to a good start.

See who else is being sinful at Molly’s Daily Kiss!

 

Jack’s Answers

1. Today is couple appreciation day. What do you most appreciate about being a couple (consider current or past relationships)
I appreciate emotional intimacy (and physical intimacy as well). I appreciate support and expressions of care. I appreciate consistency and reliability. I appreciate the ability to open up and be completely honest without fear of rejection or betrayal.

2. It is also Global Love Day. How can you or how will you extend love today?
By being there for the people I love, and demonstrating my feelings with words as well as actions. I’ll also do my best to be pleasant and welcoming in order to show the people with whom I interact but do not necessarily love – think random people I may encounter on the street – that they are important.

3. May 1 is loyalty day as well, originally it had to do with patriotism in the United States. That meaning aside, in what ways are you loyal?
I demonstrate loyalty by always supporting those who matter to me. I make sure I am there when I am needed, I keep my word when I give it, and I never let those to whom I am loyal doubt my position. I am not loyal by blindly following a destructive, hate-filled megalomaniac who should be in prison.

4. So it seems today is also Phone In Sick day. When is the last time you phoned in sick? Were you really sick? How did you spend the “sick” day?
My last sick day was more than a dozen years ago, as I’ve been self-employed since then. I have no idea why I took a sick day, but for the sake of making this answer interesting, I’ll say that while on my lunch break I met a gorgeous, leggy brunette at a cafe near work, and called my supervisor to say I had food poisoning and wouldn’t be back to work that day. Then I took her back to my apartment for sex. I realize that this is technically a sick half-day, but it’s probably the most exciting story I could’ve come up with so deal with it, I guess.

5. May 1, 1840 the world’s first adhesive postage stamp was issued in the United Kingdom. Who would you like to see on a postage stamp?
Donald Trump, but the stamp must be in commemoration of his conviction and imprisonment on charges of treason. If not, I’m not interested.

Bonus: How was your first day of May?
Fairly typical not only for the first day of May, but just about any weekday. Worked out, ran some errands, flirted with beautiful women via text, instant messenger, or other virtual means, and played with my kid. Can’t really complain.

Jill’s Answers

1. Today is couple appreciation day. What do you most appreciate about being a couple (consider current or past relationships)
I appreciate being able to cuddle, feel supported, spend time with the other person, and enjoy intimacy not limited to kissing and sex.

2. It is also Global Love Day. How can you or how will you extend love today?
I will extend love by reaching out to others to remind them how important their presence is in my life.

3. May 1 is loyalty day as well, originally it had to do with patriotism in the United States. That meaning aside, in what ways are you loyal?
I am loyal to my family and friends. I’m always someone who can be counted on to follow through or be there when needed.

4. So it seems today is also Phone In Sick day. When is the last time you phoned in sick? Were you really sick? How did you spend the “sick” day?
I last called in sick last Wednesday. My flight home was delayed and I missed my connection, which caused me to spend the night in an airport far from home. I spent my “sick” day flying home, sleeping, and playing with both my daughter and husband (albeit in different ways).

5. May 1, 1840 the world’s first adhesive postage stamp was issued in the United Kingdom. Who would you like to see on a postage stamp?
Me! Because everybody should have the opportunity to lick my backside.

Bonus: How was your first day of May?
Work was crazy, but the massage to which I treated myself after work was so wonderful. Overall, my day was terrific!

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

TMI Tuesday…play it, enjoy it!

Times keep-a-changin’

[Note: Jill is on assignment*, so I’m participating solo this week.]

[*shacked up]

1. Does your workplace have a “casual Friday” or a day when you can dress down or out of uniform?
As I am self-employed, every day is casual Friday. And since I seldom venture out into the field these days, it is more than acceptable for me to work naked, since I’m typically working from home.

2. Has the growth of social media and unabashed sharing of personal info on social media made you MORE or LESS cautious about your privacy?
Regardless of the growth of social media, I’m probably less cautious than I was even a couple years ago. I’ve never been all that concerned about my privacy beyond my need to keep my and Jill’s blog personas and our real-life selves separate. But whereas five years ago I was paranoid about someone making the connection, I’m largely convinced that nobody gives that much of a fuck about us. I suspect, in fact, that I could leak a face photo or a tweet full of personal information and nobody would notice it.

3. Is gay marriage legal where you live?
Yes it is.

4. Is smoking marijuana legal where you live? Under what circumstances?
It is legal in the sense that if one possesses marijuana, one may consume it. One may give or be given marijuana by another party and use it as well. Currently one is not permitted to sell marijuana, as I understand it, as it was only made legal last year, and dispensaries are not expected to begin operations until 2018.

5. Give us a hashtag that best describes your weekend. Hashtag must be 15 letters or less.
I’m going to go with #fuckeverything. If you follow me on Twitter, you may have gleaned that this weekend was more stressful than most.

Bonus: Have you ever stalked a celebrity? Who?
I don’t believe I’ve ever even written a fan letter. But for the sake of making this answer more interesting, I’ll go ahead and say that during the late 1980s and early 1990s I was arrested several times for trespassing on David Letterman’s property.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

SweeteNDirty to the rescue. For today’s TMI Tuesday, she offers the following as it pertains to sexy time!

This or That?

Jack’s Answers

1 – Lights on or off?
Lights on, definitely. I may be most quickly aroused on a mental level, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t get much from visual stimulation. I absolutely do, and being able to clearly see my partner’s body, and what she is doing while we’re together, is an enormous turn-on for me.

2 – Slow teasing or getting right to business?
I enjoy a good tease, provided it gets my partner hotter than she already was. I guess I enjoy the end result more than the tease itself. So yes, I have been known to make the buildup take a very long time. However, once I get down to business, I go all-out.

3 – Giver or receiver?
Definitely a giver. Which is not to say that I don’t enjoy receiving. I absolutely do, especially if what I’m receiving is oral sex. But much like how I can never just sit and relax on the couch at the end of a long day, preferring to get something, anything, done before I go to bed, I also tend to approach sex with the attitude of “I can’t just lie here doing nothing. There has to be something proactive I could be doing right now.” Rather than going for mine, I often find myself giving my partner a few more.

4 – Background noise or no?
“Background noise” can encapsulate a lot of different things. Are we talking mood music, or are we talking ambient crowd chatter like one might hear at a cocktail party or some sort of public place? Because I was about to say yes to the former and no to the latter, but all of a sudden the thought of fucking in such a setting sounds pretty appealing. That said, I really like hearing the sounds my partner makes, so I tend to want as little background noise as possible.

5 – Top or bottom?
While I’m happy with top, bottom, from behind, or any other position one can name, I think I am most at home in standard, boring-ass missionary position. I really enjoy missionary, moreso in my older age than I ever did as a younger man. While one might view this as a lack of imagination, a willingness to support the patriarchy, or even an indication of my dominant nature, the fact is that I am naturally drawn to what I perceive as the position’s inherent intimacy. It is much easier to gaze into one’s partner’s eyes, whisper sweet nothings, and share passionate kisses when one is in a face-to-face position.

6 – Private or public?
Public is fun. We have had public sex on multiple occasions, and found it intense and satisfying. I would absolutely do it again given the opportunity, provided the public space was conducive to fucking, i.e. a safe place wherein spectators gave implied consent at least. However, I prefer private.

Bonus – Describe your best or worst sexual encounter. Double bonus if you describe both. ?
To get it out of the way up front, I don’t know that I have a worst sexual encounter. I’ve probably said as much elsewhere on this blog, but while I’ve had partners who didn’t excite me physically as much as I’d have liked, partners who were perhaps too self-focused, partners with whom the sexual connection was somewhat lacking, I can’t say with any certainty that I’ve ever had what one might call bad sex. Definitely not sex with which I was unsatisfied. Even on occasion in my late teens and early twenties when I would fuck for what seemed like hours without ever coming, I still felt pretty gratified to think that the other person looked at me beforehand and thought, “This guy seems pretty cool. I feel comfortable with the thought of him putting himself inside me.” None of these encounters, or any others for that matter, concluded with my partner stealing my clothes and wallet while I was handcuffed to the headboard, attempting breath play without my consent, or smashing my penis between two masonry bricks because that’s how she gets off. Even the women I dated who were, for lack of a more earnest word, terrible people and even a little dangerous still showed me a good time sexually; even if the relationship itself was bad, the sex never was. As for my best sexual encounter, I’m inclined to say the last one, simply because it’s the most recent and therefore the most vivid in my mind. But the truth is, it’s hard for me to pinpoint one best sexual experience throughout the course of my life. Perhaps not every one is absolutely perfect. Perhaps not every sexual thing I’ve ever done is worth sharing. Still, to my mind most of them have been fantastic.

Jill’s Answers

1 – Lights on or off?
Definitely lights on. I like to see the other person, and in doing so better enjoy their body. I feel like I should point out that, before I met Jack, I probably preferred doing it with the lights off. He helped me overcome any byproducts of my Catholic upbringing, including much of my shame.

2 – Slow teasing or getting right to business?
Most of the time a slow tease is wonderful! I enjoy feeling my whole body come alive with each touch, kiss, lick, and bite.

3 – Giver or receiver?
I believe I’m both. I enjoy exploring my partner’s body. I love both giving and receiving oral. Both being on top to take my pleasure, and on the bottom to be used for the other person’s pleasure.

4 – Background noise or no?
I’d rather not have any, though it doesn’t bother or distract me. I just find that it doesn’t really add much of anything. Although occasionally I enjoy having porn on in the backgound.

5 – Top or bottom?
Again, both. I enjoy being on top and riding, and I also love the feeling of being pinned down by the weight of my partner, or their hands holding my wrists.

6 – Private or public?
Usually private, but on the occasion that we’ve had it, public sex has been exciting as well.

Bonus – Describe your best or worst sexual encounter. Double bonus if you describe both. ?
My best sexual encounters have been the ones when my partner and I have both make it a point to please each other. When we receive just as much pleasure from giving as receiving. When our bodies seem to fit perfectly together and we know exactly what the other person wants. When every touch, kiss, lick, or bite sets my whole body on fire. When the sex is passionate and loving, and usually followed by cuddling before we fall asleep entwined together. My absolute worse sexual encounter, on the other hand, was in the early days of my being sexually active and my then-partner decided to try anal sex without my knowledge or consent. In fact, he decided to try it without lube or warning. Needless to say, we didn’t date very long.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

You know when you’ve got an itch and somebody scratches it juuuuuuuuuuuuuust right?

See who else is being sinful at Molly’s Daily Kiss!